


Come Back To Me

by grumpyoldahgase



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:42:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21646219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grumpyoldahgase/pseuds/grumpyoldahgase
Summary: The story of Jaebeom and Jinyoung, two lovers who were separated by fate.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 27
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is very much based on the movie The Notebook, though you don't need to have seen it to read this. There will be changes of course, idk how it will turn out. Anyway, English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes >.<

The sun has come up and Jaebeom sitting by a foggy window. He wears two shirts, baggy pants, a scarf wrapped twice around his neck and tucked into a thick sweater. The thermostat in his room is set as high as it will go, and a smaller space heater sits directly behind him but still his body shivers with a cold that will never go away, a cold that has been eleven years in the making.  
Eleven years. It isn’t easy to explain.

~~~

It was just after graduation eleven years ago, in the opening of Summer Night Festival. It was humid that night—for some reason he remembered that clearly. He arrived alone at the festival, and as he strolled through the crowd, he saw Jackson and Mark, two people he’d grown up with, talking to a boy he’d never seen before. He was pretty, Jaebeom remembered thinking, and when he finally joined them, he looked his way with a pair of hazy eyes.  
“Hi, I'm Jinyoung," he’d said simply as he offered his hand. “Jackson's told me a lot about you.”  
An ordinary beginning, something that would have been forgotten had it been anyone but him. But as he shook Jinyoung's hand and met those beautiful eye crinkles that performed when he smiled, he knew before he’d taken his next breath that he was the one he could spend the rest of his life looking for but never find again. He seemed that good, that perfect.  
Jackson told him Jinyoung was spending the summer here with his family. Jaebeom only nods dumbly. Jackson laughed then, because he knew what was happening, and Mark suggested they get some food, and the four of them stayed at the festival until the crowds were thin and everything closed up for the night.

  
They met the following day, and the day after that, and they soon became inseparable. Every morning, Jaebeom would finish his chores as quickly as possible, then make a straight line to the park, where Jinyoung'd be waiting for him. Because he was a newcomer and hadn’t lived in a small town before, they spent their days doing things that were completely new to him.  
He taught him how to fishing and took him exploring through the backwoods of the forest. They rode in canoes and watched summer thunderstorms, and it seemed as though they’d always known each other.

  
Jaebeom walked Jinyoung home afterwards, and when they paused on the porch after saying good night, he kissed him for the first time and wondered why he had waited as long as he had.

  
Later in the summer Jaebeom brought Jinyoung to his house. They spent hours together talking about their dreams—Jaebeom's of being a producer, Jinyoung's of being an artist—and on a humid night.  
They both lost their virginity.

When Jinyoung left three weeks later, he  
took a piece of him and the rest of summer with him. Jaebeom watched him leave town on an early rainy morning, watched through eyes that hadn’t slept the night before, then went home and cry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i decided to make this a little longer. Un-beta'd, Im so sorry for any mistakes. I hope you still enjoy it :3

Jaebeom remembered talking to Jackson about Jinyoung after they left the festival that first night, and Jackson had laughed. Then he’d made two predictions: first that they would fall in love, and second that it wouldn’t work out.

Jackson ended up being right on both counts. Most of the summer Jinyoung had to make excuses to his parents whenever they wanted to see each other. It wasn’t that they didn’t like him—it was that he was from a different class, too poor, and they would never approve if their son became serious with someone like him. “I don’t care what my parents think, I love you and always will,” Jinyoung would say. “We’ll find a way to be together.”

But in the end they couldn’t. When summer ended Jinyoung had no choice but to return with his family to continue his dad's business. “Only the summer is over, Jinyoung, not us,” he’d said the morning he left. “We’ll never be over.” But they were. For a reason he didn’t understand, the letters he wrote went unanswered.

~~~

Jaebeom got a small job at a company. The pay is not so good but he didn’t care. He was just happy to have a job. He worked hard. It helped him keep his mind off Jinyoung during the day. But he continued to think about Jinyoung at night. He wrote to him once a month but never received a reply. Eventually after three years he wrote one final letter and forced himself to accept the fact that the summer they’d spent with one another was the only thing they’d ever share. Still, though, Jinyoung's memory stayed with him.

  
Eleven years later Jaebeom has own a company and managing a staff of thirty. During that time he dated a few different people, men and women. He became serious with one, a singer who has a beautiful voice and a bright smile. Although they dated for two years and had many good times together, he never came to feel the same way about him as he did about Jinyoung. Youngjae was a few years younger than he was but more experienced. And it was he who taught him the ways to please a man, the places to touch and kiss, the things to whisper.

Towards the end of their relationship Youngjae'd told him once, “I wish I could give you what you’re looking for, but I don’t know what it is. There’s a part of you that you keep closed off from everyone, including me. It’s as if your mind is on someone else. It’s like you keep waiting for them to pop out of thin air to take you away from all this...”

A month later Youngjae visited him at work and told him he'd met someone else. Jaebeom understood. They parted as friends, and he hadn’t heard from him since.

~~~

Jinyoung struggled for days—and had struggled some more this evening—but in the end he knew he would never forgive himself if he let the opportunity slip away. Wonpil didn’t know the real reason he left the following morning. The week before, he’d hinted to him that he might want to visit some antique shops near the coast. “It’s just a couple of days,” he said, “and besides, I need a break from planning the wedding.” He felt bad about the lie, but knew there was no way he could tell him the truth. Jinyoung’s leaving had nothing to do with Wonpil, and it wouldn’t fair of Jinyoung to ask him to understand. Jinyoung looked down and saw his hands were shaking, and he laughed to himself. It was strange; he wasn’t normally this nervous.

~~~

Jinyoung still had trouble believing it, even as he held the proof in his hands. It had been in the newspaper three Sundays ago. He had gone to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and after an uninterested first glance on the paper, something in the picture caught his eye and he took a closer look.  
He vaguely remembered his mother coming to the table and sitting opposite him, and when he finally put aside the paper his mother was staring at him. “Are you okay?” she asked over her coffee cup. “You look a little pale.” Jinyoung didn’t answer right away, he couldn’t, and it was then that he’d noticed his hands were shaking. That had been when it started. “And here it will end, one way or the other,” he whispered again.  
When asked, he said his erratic behaviour was due to stress. It was the perfect excuse; everyone understood, including Wonpil, and that’s why he hadn’t argued when he’d wanted to get away for a couple of days. The wedding plans were stressful to everyone involved. Almost five hundred people were invited, including the governor, one senator and the ambassador. It was too much, in his opinion, but their engagement was news and had dominated the social pages since they had announced their plans six months ago. He took a deep breath and stood again. “It’s now or never,” he whispered, then picked up his things and went to the door. He slipped behind the wheel and started the engine.

~~~

Another turn in the road and Jinyoung finally saw the house in the distance. It had changed a lot from what he remembered. He slowed the car and took a deep breath when he saw Jaebeom on the porch, watching his car. From a distance, he looked the same as he had back then. His car continued forward slowly, then finally stopped beneath an oak tree that shaded the front of the house. He turned the key, never taking his eyes from Jaebeom, and the engine sputtered to a halt. Jaebeom stepped off the porch and began to approach him, walking easily, then suddenly stopped cold as he emerged from the car.

For a long time all they could do was stare at each other without moving.  
Park Jinyoung, thirty years old and engaged, an Artist, searching for answers, and Im Jaebeom, the dreamer, thirty-one, visited by the ghost that had come to dominate his life.

Neither of them moved as they faced each other. Jaebeom hadn’t said anything, and for a second Jinyoung thought he didn’t recognize him. Suddenly he felt guilty about showing up this way, without warning, and it made it harder. He had thought that he would know what to say. But he didn’t. Everything that came into his head seemed inappropriate, somehow lacking.

As he stared at him, he noticed how little he’d changed since he'd last seen him. He looked good, Jinyoung thought. Jinyoung could see the same broad shoulders he remembered, pierced eyes and two beautiful moles above his eyes. And though his hair was a little thinner than Jinyoung remembered, he looked the same as he had when he'd known him last.

Jinyoung took a deep breath and smiled. “Hello, Jaebeom. It’s good to see you again.”  
Jaebeom looked at him with amazement in his eyes. Then, after shaking his head slightly, he slowly began to smile. “You too,” he stammered. He brought his hand to his chin, and Jinyoung noticed he hadn’t shaved. “It’s really you, isn’t it? I can’t believe it..."  
Jinyoung heard the shock in his voice as he spoke, and surprising him it all came together—being here, seeing him. Jinyoung felt something twitch inside, something deep and old, something that made him dizzy for just a second. He caught himself fighting for control. He hadn’t expected this to happen, didn’t want it to happen.  
Jinyoung was engaged now. He hadn’t come here for this. Yet.  
Yet the feeling went on despite himself, and for a brief moment he felt younger again. Felt as he hadn’t in years, as if all his dreams could still come true. Felt as though he'd finally come home.

Without another word they came together, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and Jaebeom put his arms around Jinyoung, drawing him close. They held each other tightly; both of them letting the eleven years of separation dissolve in the deepening twilight.

They stayed like that for a long time before Jinyoung finally pulled back to look at Jaebeom. Up close, Jinyoung could see the changes he hadn’t noticed at first. His face had lost the softness of youth. The faint lines around his forehead had deepened. There was a new edge to him; he seemed less innocent, more cautious, and yet the way he was holding him made Jinyoung realize how much he'd missed him. Jinyoung's eyes brimmed with tears as they finally released each other. He laughed nervously while wiping the corners of his eyes.

“Are you okay?” Jaebeom asked, a thousand other questions on his face.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cry."  
“It’s okay,” he said, smiling. “I still can’t believe it’s you. How did you find me?”  
Jinyoung stepped back, trying to compose himself, wiping away the last of his tears. “I saw you on the newspaper story about your company couple of weeks ago, and I had to come and see you again.”  
Jaebeom smiled broadly. “I’m glad you did.” He stepped back. “You look fantastic. You’re even more handsome now than you were then.”  
Jinyoung felt the blood in his face. Just like eleven years ago. “Thank you. You look great, too.” And he did, no doubt about it.  
“So what have you been up to? Why are you here?”  
His questions brought Jinyoung back to the present, making him realize what could happen if he wasn’t careful. Don’t let this get out of hand, he told himself; the longer it goes on, the harder it’s going to be. And he didn’t want it to get any harder. Jinyoung turned away and took a deep breath, wondering how to say it, and when he finally started, his voice was quiet. “Jaebeom, before you get the wrong idea, I did want to see you again, but there’s more to it than just that.” Jinyoung paused for a second. “I came here for a reason. There’s something I have to tell you.”  
“What is it?”  
Jinyoung looked away and didn’t answer for a moment, surprised that he couldn’t tell him just yet. In the silence, Jaebeom felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. Whatever it was, it was bad.  
“I don’t know how to say it. I thought I did at first, but now I’m not so sure..."  
The air was suddenly rattled by the loud meow of a cat that came out from under the porch and clinged into Jaebeom's feet. Both of them turned at the cat, and Jinyoung was glad for the distraction.  
“Is he yours?” Jinyoung asked.

Jaebeom nodded, feeling the tightness in his stomach. “Actually it’s a she. Nora is her name. But yeah, she’s all mine.” They both watched as Nora stretched, then wandered around. And with that Jinyoung realized they were strangers now. Eleven years apart was a long time. Too long.  
“What is it, Jinyoung?” Jaebeom turned to him, but Jinyoung continued to look away. “I’m being rather silly, aren’t I?” Jinyoung asked, trying to smile.  
“What do you mean?”  
“This whole thing. Showing up out of the blue, not knowing what I want to say. You must think I’m crazy.”  
“You’re not crazy,” he said gently.  
Jaebeom reached for Jinyoung’s hand, and he let him hold it as they stood next to one another. He went on:  
“Even though I don’t know why, I can see this is hard for you. Why don’t we go for a walk?”  
“Like we used to?”  
“Why not? I think we both could use one.”  
Jinyoung hesitated and looked to his front door. “Do you need to tell anyone?”  
He shook his head. “There’s no one to tell. It’s just me and Nora.”  
Even though Jinyoung had asked, he had suspected there wouldn’t be anyone else, and inside he didn’t know how to feel about that. But it did make what he wanted to say a little harder. It would have been easier if there was someone else. They started towards the river and turned onto a path near the bank. Jinyoung let go of his hand and walked on with just enough distance between them so that they couldn’t accidentally touch.

It was a long moment before Jinyoung talk. “I’m engaged.” Jaebeom looked down when Jinyoung said it, suddenly feeling just a bit weaker. So that was it. That’s what he needed to tell him.  
“Congratulations,” Jaebeom finally said, wondering how convincing he sounded. “When’s the big day?”  
“Three weeks. I’m gonna marry Kim Wonpil.”  
The Kim family were one of the most powerful and influential families. Cotton money. The death of Kim Senior had made the front page of the newspaper. “I’ve heard of them. His father built quite a business. Did Wonpil take over for him?” Jinyoung shook his head. “No, he’s a lawyer. He has his own practice.”  
“With his name, he must be busy.”  
“He is. He works a lot.”  
Jaebeom thought he heard something in Jinyoung’s tone, and the next question came automatically. “Does he treat you well?”  
Jinyoung didn’t answer right away, as if he were considering the question for the first time. Then: “Yes. He’s a good man, Jaebeom. You’d like him.” His voice was distant when he answered, or at least Jaebeom thought it was. Jaebeom wondered if it was just his mind playing tricks on him.  
Jaebeom finally nodded, and they walked on in silence. They reached the top of the hill and stopped. The oak tree was in the distance, with the sun glowing orange behind it. Jinyoung could feel Jaebeom’s eyes on him as he stared in that direction. “A lot of memories there, Jinyoung.”  
Jinyoung smiled. “I know. I saw it when I came in. Do you remember the day we spent there?”  
“Yes,” he answered, volunteering no more.  
“Do you ever think about it?”  
"Sometimes,” he said.  
As the sun dropped a little lower and the sky turned orange, Jaebeom asked: "So, how long are you staying?”  
“I don’t know. Not long. Maybe until tomorrow or the next day.”  
"Is your flance here on business?”  
Jinyoung shook his head.  
“No, he’s not here.”  
Jaebeom raised his eyebrows. “Does he know you’re here?”  
Jinyoung shook his head again and answered slowly. “No. I told him I was looking for antiques. He wouldn’t understand my coming here.”  
Jaebeom was a little surprised. It was one thing to come and visit, but it was an entirely different matter to hide the truth from his fiancé. The gravel crunched beneath their feet as they walked. He asked: “Jinyoung, do you love him?”  
He answered automatically. “Yes, I love him.”  
The words hurt. But again Jaebeom thought he heard something in Jinyoung’s tone, as if he were saying it to convince himself. He stopped and gently took Jinyoung’s shoulders in his hands, making Jinyoung face him. The fading sunlight reflected in his eyes as he spoke. “If you’re happy, Jinyoung, and you love him. I won’t try to stop you from going back to him. But if there’s a part of you that isn’t sure, then don’t do it. This isn’t the kind of thing you go into halfway.”  
Jinyoung’s answer came almost too quickly. “I’m making the right decision, Jaebeom.”  
Jaebeom stared for a second, wondering if he believed him. Then he nodded and they began to walk again. He said: I’m not making this easy for you, am I?”  
Jinyoung smiled a little. "It’s okay. I really can’t blame you.”  
"I’m sorry anyway."  
"Don’t be. There’s no reason to be sorry. I’m the one who should be apologizing.”  
Jaebeom shook his head. "I’m glad you came. It’s good to see you again. You were the best friend I ever had, Jinyoung. I’d still like to be friends, even if you are engaged, and even if it is just for a couple of days. How about we just kind of get to know each other again?”

Jinyoung thought about it, and decided that since Jaebeom knew about his engagement, it would probably be all right. Or at least not wrong. He smiled slightly and nodded. "I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you want more angst or fluff? Comments are appreciated <333


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JJP moments last night @MAMA made me feel so many things ugh, I love my parents ;_;
> 
> Ps.  
> I updated the tag so please anticipate it. Hope you enjoy this and sorry for any mistakes :3

Jinyoung stayed at Jaebeom's house for dinner. The sky grew darker and the moon rose higher as the evening wore on. And without either of them being conscious of it, they began to regain the intimacy, the bond of familiarity, they had once shared. After finished dinner, both pleased with the meal, neither talking much now. Jaebeom looked at his watch and saw that it was getting late. The stars were out in full, the crickets a little quieter. Jaebeom felt nostalgic.  
"Jinyoung, do you remember sneaking over here that night?” asked Jaebeom.  
Jinyoung nodded, “I got home a little late that evening, and my parents were furious when I finally came in. I can still picture my dad standing in the living room smoking a cigarette, my mother on the sofa staring straight ahead. I swear, they looked as if a family member had died. That was the first time my parents knew I was serious about you, and my mother had a long talk with me later that night. She said to me, 'I’m sure you think that I don’t understand what you’re going through, but I do. It’s just that sometimes our future is dictated by what we are, as opposed to what we want.’ I remember being really hurt when she said that.”   
“You told me about it the next day. It hurt my feelings, too. I liked your parents and I had no idea they didn’t like me.”   
“It wasn’t that they didn’t like you. They didn’t think you deserved me.”   
“There’s not much difference.”  
“Maybe that’s why my mother and I always seem to have a distance between us when we talk.”  
“How do you feel about it now?”  
“The same as I did back then. That it’s wrong, that it isn’t fair. It was a terrible thing to learn, that status is more important than feelings.”  
Jaebeom said nothing.  
“I’ve thought about you ever since that summer,” Jinyoung continued.  
“You have?”  
“Why wouldn’t you think so?” Jinyoung seemed genuinely surprised.  
“You never answered my letters.”  
“You wrote??”  
“Dozens of letters. I wrote to you for three years without receiving a single reply.”  
Jinyoung slowly shook his head before lowering his eyes. “I didn’t know.. .” he said finally, quietly, and Jaebeom knew it must have been his mother checking the mail, removing the letters without his knowledge. It was what Jaebeom had always suspected, and he watched as Jinyoung came to the same realization.  
“Would it have made a difference if you’d got them?”  
“Of course. I always wondered if you still remembered me.”  
"Jinyoung i never stop thinking about you..."  
For a moment Jinyoung wished that he weren’t engaged. He amazed that after all these years he once again realized how special Jaebeom was. Jinyoung wondered if he was in love with him again.

Jaebeom watched him tenderly. God, he’s beautiful, he thought. And inside he ached. Quite simply, he had fallen in love again. But then he had never really stopped, and this, he realized, was his destiny.

“It’s been quite a night.” Jaebeom said, his voice softer now.  
“Yes, it has.” Jinyoung said, “a wonderful night.”  
Jaebeom glanced up at the stars, their twinkling lights reminding him that Jinyoung would be leaving soon, and he felt almost empty inside. This was a night he wanted never to end. How should he tell him? What could he say that would make him stay? He didn’t know. And thus the decision was made to say nothing. And he realized then that he had failed. Jaebeom remembered the thousands of empty nights he had spent since they’d last seen each other. Seeing Jinyoung again brought all those feelings to the surface, and he found it impossible to press them back down. He knew then he wanted to make love to him again and to have his love in return. It was what he needed most in the world. But he also realized it could never be. Now that Jinyoung was engaged.  
“Are you tired?” Jaebeom asked, finally breaking free from his thoughts.  
“A little. I should going back to hotel in a couple of minutes.”  
“Okay.” Jaebeom said, nodding. “I had a great time tonight,” he said, “thank you for finding me.”  
“I did, too,” Jinyoung answered.  
Jaebeom summoned his courage. “Will I see you tomorrow?” A simple question.   
Jinyoung knew what the answer should be. “I don’t think we should,” was all he had to say, and it would end right here and now. But for a second the demon of choice confronted him, teased him, challenged him. Why couldn’t he say it? As he looked in Jaebeom's eyes to find the answer he needed, he saw the man he’d once fallen in love with, and suddenly it all came clear. “I’d like that.”  
Jaebeom was surprised. He hadn’t expected him to answer this way. He wanted to touch Jinyoung then, to take him in his arms, but he didn’t. “Can you be here about noon?”  
“Sure. What do you want to do?”  
“You’ll see,” Jaebeom answered. “I know just the place to go.”  
“Have I ever been there before?”  
“No, but it’s a special place. You’ll love it.”  
Jinyoung moved away before Jaebeom could attempt a kiss. He didn’t know if Jaebeom would try but knew for some reason that, if he did, Jinyoung would have a hard time stopping him. Jinyoung slid behind the wheel, breathing a sigh of relief. Jaebeom shut the door for him, and he started the engine. As the car idled, he rolled down the window just a hit. “See you tomorrow,” he said, his eyes reflecting the moonlight.

After Jinyoung left, Jaebeom was overcome with longing. His face in his hands and tears in his eyes. He didn’t know how to stop them.

~~~

The next afternoon Jaebeom was sitting in his bench, drinking sweet tea, listening for the car, when he finally heard it turn up the drive. He went around to the front and watched the car pull up and park beneath the oak tree again. Same spot as yesterday. Nora meowed a greeting at Jinyoung's car door, and Jaebeom saw Jinyoung wave from inside the car. He stepped out, patted Nora on the head, then turned, smiling. It was different today, though. Newer feelings now, not simply memories any more. If anything, his attraction for Jinyoung had grown stronger overnight, and it made him feel a little nervous in his presence. Jinyoung met him halfway, he surprised Jaebeom by kissing him gently on the cheek, his hand lingering at his waist after he pulled back.  
“Hi,” he said, radiance in his eyes, “where’s the surprise?”   
Jaebeom relaxed a little, thanking God for that. “Not even a ‘good afternoon’ or ‘how was your night?’”  
Jinyoung smiled. Patience had never been one of his strongest attributes.  
“Fine. Good afternoon. How was your night? And where’s the surprise?”  
Jaebeom chuckled lightly, then paused. “Jinyoung, I’ve got some bad news. I was going to take you someplace, but with those clouds coming in I’m not sure we should go.”  
“Its not raining yet. How far is it?”  
“Up the creek about a mile.”  
“And I’ve never been there before?”  
“Not when it was like this.”  
He thought for a second while he looked around. When he spoke, his voice was determined. “Then we’ll go. I don’t care if it rains.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Absolutely.”  
Jaebeom looked at the clouds again, noting their approach. “Then we’d better go now,” he said. 

They walked to the canoe, Jinyoung beside him. A little closer than yesterday.  
“What exactly is this place?”  
“You’ll see.”  
“You’re not even going to give me a hint?”  
“Well,” he said, “do you remember when we took the canoe out and watched the sun come up?”  
“I thought about it this morning. I remember it made me cry?"  
“What you’re going to see today makes what you saw then seem ordinary."  
“I guess I should feel special.”  
He took a few steps before responding. “You are special,” he finally said, Jinyoung smiled a little before glancing away. He climbed into canoe and Jaebeom started to paddle. 

~~~

The breeze had stopped, and the clouds grew blacker as the canoe moved onwards.

"How much further?"  
"Not far anymore."  
A pause. Then Jinyoung said, "Tell me, Jaebeom, what do you remember most from the summer we spent together?”  
“All of it.”  
“Anything in particular?”  
“No,” he said.  
“You don’t remember?”  
He answered quietly. “No, it’s not that. It’s not what you’re thinking. I was serious when I said ‘all of it.’ I can remember every moment we were together, and in each of them there was something wonderful. I can’t pick any one time that meant more than any other. The entire summer was perfect, the kind of summer everyone should have. How could I pick one moment over another? Love is an emotion that we can’t control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That’s what it was like for me. I didn’t plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once, and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it.”  
Jinyoung stared at him. No one had ever said anything like that to him before. Ever. He didn’t know what to say and stayed silent, his face hot.  
“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, Jinyoung. I didn’t mean to. But that summer has stayed with me and probably always will. I know it can’t be the same between us, but that doesn’t change the way I felt about you then.”  
“It didn’t make me uncomfortable, Jaebeom... It’s just that I never hear things like that. What you said was beautiful..”  
Peaceful silence descended on them.   
“Here we are,” Jaebeom said as he guided the canoe towards some trees near the bank. Jinyoung looked around, not seeing anything.  
"Where is it?”  
“Here,” he said again, pointing the canoe at a fallen tree that was almost completely obscuring an opening.  
He guided the canoe around the tree, and both of them had to lower their heads to keep from bumping them. And finally Jinyoung could see it. He surprised at how invisible it had been just moments before. It was spectacular. Swan and geese literally surrounded them. Thousands of them. Birds floating so close together in some places that Jinyoung couldn’t see the water. From a distance, the groups of swans looked almost like icebergs.  
“Jaebeom,” he finally said softly, “it’s beautiful.”  
They sat in silence for a long while, watching the birds. The air was filled with honking and chirping as Jaebeom moved the canoe through the water. The birds ignored them for the most part. The only ones that seemed bothered were those forced to move when the canoe approached them. Jinyoung reached out to touch the closest ones and felt their feathers ruffling under his fingers. They stayed until thunder boomed in the distance—faint hut powerful—and both of them knew it was time to leave. Jinyoung was still smiling, amazed by what he had seen. Jaebeom started to paddle hard as dark clouds rolled directly overhead. Soon rain began to fall, a light sprinkle at first, then gradually harder. Lightning . . . a pause . . . then thunder again. A little louder now. Maybe six or seven miles away. More rain as Jaebeom began to paddle even harder, his muscles tightening with every stroke. Thicker drops now, falling hard. Jaebeom rowing... getting wet… cursing to himself.  
Jinyoung watched the rain fall diagonally from the sky as it rode on winds that whistled over the trees. The sky darkened a little more. He leaned his head back for a moment to let it hit his face. He ran his hands through his hair, feeling its wetness. It felt wonderful, he felt wonderful. Even through the rain he could hear Jaebeom breathing hard, and the sound aroused his sexually in a way he hadn’t felt in years.A cloud burst directly above them and the rain began to come down harder than he'd ever seen it. Jinyoung looked upwards and laughed, giving up any attempt at keeping dry, making Jaebeom feel better. Even though he'd made the decision to come, Jaebeom doubted that he'd expected to be caught in a storm like this.They reached the dock a couple of minutes later, and Jaebeom moved in close enough for Jinyoung to step out. As he was tying the canoe, he looked up at Jinyoung and stopped breathing for just a second. He was incredibly beautiful as he waited, watching him. He didn’t try to keep dry or hide himself. Despite the downpour, they didn’t rush towards the house, and Jaebeom imagined what it would be like to spend the night with Jinyoung.

Jinyoung took Jaebeom's hands in him and he felt the warmth in his hands. He wondered what it would be like to have them touch his body, lingering slowly across his skin. Just thinking about it made him take a deep breath.   
There was no uneasiness between them as they reached the door and went inside, pausing in the hall, clothes dripping.  
"I think I can find something here for you so you can get out of those clothes. It might be a little big, but it’s warm.”  
“Anything,” Jinyoung said.  
“I’ll be back in a second.”  
Jaebeom slipped off his boots, then ran up the stairs, descending a minute later. He had a pair of cotton trousers and a long-sleeved shin under one arm and some jeans with a shirt in the other.  
“Here," he said, handing Jinyoung the cotton trousers and shirt. “You can change in the bedroom upstairs. There’s a bathroom and towel up there too if you want to shower.”  
He thanked him with a smile and went upstairs, feeling his eyes on him as he walked. He entered the bedroom and closed the door, then set the trousers and shirt on his bed and peeled everything off. He felt a secret thrill at being naked in the same room Jaebeom slept in. He slipped on his clothes before looking at himself in the mirror. The clothes were big, but he liked the way it looked on him anyway. After changed Jinyoung went back downstairs. Jaebeom was in the living room squatting before a fire, doing his best to coax it to life. He didn’t see Jinyoung come in, and he watched him as he worked. He had changed his clothes as well and looked good: his shoulders broad, wet hair hanging just over his collar. He poked the fire, moving the logs, and added some more kindling. In a few minutes the fire had turned to flames, even and steady. He turned to the side to straighten the remaining unused logs and caught a glimpse of Jinyoung out of the corner of his eye. He looked up quickly. Even in his clothes Jinyoung looked beautiful. After a moment he shyly went back to stacking the logs.  
“I didn’t hear you come in.” he said, trying to sound casual. “How long have you been standing there?”  
“A couple of minutes.”  
Jaebeom brushed his hands on his jeans, then pointed to the kitchen.   
“Can I get you some tea? I started the water while you were upstairs.” Small talk, anything to keep his mind clear. But damn, the way Jinyoung looked...  
Jinyoung thought for a second. "Do you have anything stronger, or is it too early to drink?”  
Jaebeom smiled. “I have some wine in the pantry. Is that okay?”  
“That sounds great.”  
He started towards the kitchen, and Jinyoung watched him run his hand through his wet hair as he disappeared.  
Thunder boomed loudly and another downpour started. Jinyoung could hear the roaring of the rain on the roof, could hear the snapping of lop as the flickering flames lit the room. He took a quilt from the sofa and sat on the rug in front of the fire. Crossing his legs, he adjusted the quilt until he was comfortable and watched the dancing flames. Jaebeom came back, saw what Jinyoung had done, and went to sit beside him. He put down two glasses and poured some wine into each of them. Outside, the sky grew darker. Thunder again. Loud. The storm in full fury, winds whipping the rain in circles.  
“It’s quite a storm,” Jaebeom said as he watched the drops flow in vertical streams on the windows. He and Jinyoung were close now, though not touching.  
“I like it,” Jinyoung said, taking a sip. “I’ve always liked thunderstorms.   
“Why?” Saying anything, keeping his balance.  
“I don’t know. They just always seemed romantic to me.”  
Jinyoung was quiet for a moment, and Jaebeom watched the fire flicker in his eyes. Then he said, “Do you remember sitting together and watching the storm a few nights before I left?”  
“Of course.”  
“I used to think about it all the time after I went home. I always thought about how you looked that night. It was the way I remembered you.”  
“Have I changed much?”  
Jinyoung took another sip of wine, feeling it warm him. He touched Jaebeom's hand as he answered.  
“Not really. Not in the things that I remember. You’re older, of course, with more life behind you, but you’ve still got the same gleam in your eyes.”  
He thought about what Jinyoung said and felt Jinyoung's hand lingering on his, his thumb tracing slow circles.  
“Jinyoung, you asked me earlier what I remembered most about the summer. What do you remember?”  
It was a while before he answered.   
"I remember making love. That's what I remember most. You were my first, and it was more wonderful than I ever thought it would be."  
Jaebeom took a sip of wine, remembering, bringing back the old feelings.  
He went on. "I remember being so afraid beforehand that I was trembling, but at the same time being so excited. I'm glad you were the first. I'm glad we were able to share that."  
"Me too."  
"Were you as afraid as I was?"  
Jaebeom nodded without speaking, and Jinyoung smiled at his honesty. Jinyoung squeezed Jaebeom's hand, let go, and moved closer. He put his hand through Jaebeom's arm, cradling it, and rested his head on his broad shoulder. Jaebeom could smell Jinyoung, soft like the rain, warm.

Jinyoung spoke quietly. "Do you remember walking home after the festival? I asked you if you wanted to see me again. You just nodded your head and didn't say a word. It wasn’t too convincing."  
"I'd never met anyone like you. I didn't know what to say."  
"I know. You could never hide anything. Your eyes always gave you away. You had the most wonderful eyes I'd ever seen." Jinyoung lifted his head from Jaebeom's shoulder and looked directly at him. When he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. "I think I loved you more that summer than I ever loved anyone."

Lightning flashed again. In the quiet moments before the thunder, their eyes met as they tried to undo eleven years. When the thunder finally sounded, Jaebeom sighed and turned from Jinyoung, towards the windows.  
"I wish you could have read the letters I wrote you," he said.  
Jinyoung didn't speak for a while.  
"It wasn't just up to you, Jaebeom. I didn’t tell you, but I wrote you a dozen letters after I got home. I just never sent them."  
"Why?" Jaebeom was surprised.  
"I guess I was too afraid."  
"Of what?"   
"That maybe it wasn’t as real as I thought it was. That maybe you forgot me."  
"I would never do that. I couldn't even think of it."  
"I know that now. I can see it when I look at you. But back then it was different. There was so much I didn't understand, things I couldn't sort out."  
"What do you mean?”  
"When your letters never came, I didn't know what to think. I remember talking to my best friend about that summer, and he said that you had got what you wanted, and that he wasn't surprised that you wouldn't write. I didn't believe that you were that way, I never did, but hearing it and thinking about all our differences made me wonder if maybe the summer meant more to me than it had meant to you ...”  
Jaebeom looked away and Jinyoung continued. "In time, the hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let it go. At least I thought it was. But in every people I met in the next few years I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong I'd write you another letter. But I never sent them for fear of what I might find. By then you'd gone on with your life and I didn't want to think about you loving-someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer."  
"You're better than I remembered, Jinyoung."  
"You're sweet, Jaebeom."  
"I'm not saying it because I'm sweet. I'm saying it because I love you now and I   
always have. More than you can imagine."   
Jinyoung took a sip of wine and began to feel its effects. But it wasn’t just the alcohol that made him hold Jaebeom a little tighter and feel his warmth against him. Glancing out of the window, he saw the clouds were almost black.   
"Jaebeom, you've never asked, but I want you to know something."   
"What is it?"   
Jinyoung voice was tender. "There's never been another, Jaebeom. You weren't just the first. You're the only man-I've ever been with, I don’t expect you to say the same thing, but I wanted you to know."

  
Jaebeom was silent as he turned away. Jinyoung felt warmer as he watched the fire. He leaned into Jaebeom and felt the heat between them, felt his body, felt his arm tight around him. It felt so right to be here. Everything felt right. The fire, the drinks, the storm—it couldn't have been more perfect. It seemed their years apart didn't matter anymore. They gave in then to everything they had fought against for the last eleven years.

Jinyoung lifted his head off his shoulder, looked at him with hazy eyes, and Jaebeom kissed him softly on the lips. Jinyoung brought his hand to Jaebeom’s face and touched his cheek, brushing it softly with his fingers. Jaebeom leaned in and kissed Jinyoung tenderly, and he kissed back, feeling the years of separation dissolve into passion. Jinyoung closed his eyes and parted his lips as Jaebeom ran his fingers up and down his arms, slowly, lightly. Jaebeom kissed his neck, his cheek, his eyelids, and he felt the moisture of his mouth linger wherever his lips had touched. Whimper rose in Jinyoung's throat as Jaebeom gently touched him inside the thin fabric of the shirt.

The world seemed dreamlike as Jinyoung pulled back from Jaebeom, the firelight setting his face aglow. Without speaking, Jinyoung started to undo the buttons on Jaebeom's shirt. Jaebeom watched him as he did it and listened to his soft breaths as he made his way downwards. With each button he could feel Jinyoung's fingers brushing against his skin, and he smiled softly at him when he finally finished. He felt Jinyoung slide his hands inside, touching him lightly, exploring his body. Jinyoung kissed his neck gently as he pulled the shirt over his shoulders, freeing the sleeves. With that, he slowly reached for Jinyoung. He lifted Jinyoung's shirt and ran his finger slowly across his stomach before raising his arms and slipping it off.

Jinyoung felt short of breath as Jaebeom's hands gently caressed his back, his arms, his shoulders, and he felt their heated bodies press together, skin to skin. They lay back, close to the fire, and the heat made the air seem thick. Jinyoung ran his hands through Jaebeom's hair as Jaebeom held himself above him, his arm muscles hard from the exertion. With a little tempting frown, Jinyoung pulled him closer, but he resisted. Instead Jaebeom lowered himself and lightly rubbed his groin against him, and Jinyoung felt his body respond with anticipation. He did this until Jinyoung couldn't take it anymore, and when they finally joined as one, Jinyoung cried aloud and pressed his fingers hard into his back. Jinyoung buried his face in Jaebeom's neck and felt him deep inside him, felt his strength and gentleness. Jinyoung opened his eyes and watched him in the firelight, marvelling at his beauty. He saw his body glisten with crystal sweat and felt every responsibility, every facet of his life, slipping away.

By the time the rain had stopped and the sun had set, his body was exhausted. They spent the day in each other's arms, alternately making love by the fire and then holding each other as they watched the flames curl around the wood. Then they joined again and he murmured words of love between kisses as they wrapped their arms around one another. They went on throughout the evening, making up for their years apart, and slept in each other's arms that night. Occasionally Jaebeom would wake up and look at Jinyoung, his body spent and radiant, and feel as if everything were suddenly tight in this world.

Once, when Jaebeom was looking at Jinyoung in the moments before daybreak, his eyes fluttered open and he smiled and reached up to touch his face. Jinyoung put his fingers to Jaebeom's lips, gently, to keep him from speaking, and for a long time they just looked at one another.

When the lump in his throat subsided, Jaebeom whispered to him, "You are the answer to every prayer I’ve offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could have lived without you for as long as I have. I love you, Jinyoung, more than you can ever imagine, I always have and I always will."

"Oh, Jaebeom," he said, pulling Jaebeom to him. He wanted him, needed him now more than ever, like nothing he'd ever known.

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for the angst ._.


	4. Chapter 4

Jaebeom made breakfast for Jinyoung while he slept in the living room. Bacon, rolls and coffee, nothing spectacular. He set the tray beside Jinyoung as he woke up, and as soon as they had finished eating they made love again, in powerful confirmation of what they had shared the day before. They showered and afterwards Jinyoung put on his own clothes, which had dried overnight. He spent the morning with Jaebeom, together they fed Nora and checked the windows to make sure no damage had been done in the storm.

Jaebeom held Jinyoung hand most of the morning and they talked easily, but sometimes Jaebeom would stop speaking and just stare at Jinyoung. When Jaebeom did it, Jinyoung felt as though he should say something, but nothing meaningful ever came into his head. So Jinyoung usually just kissed him.

A little before noon, they prepare lunch. They fried some chicken and baked another batch of bread rolls, and the two of them ate on the porch, serenaded by a mockingbird. While they were inside doing the dishes, they heard a knock at the door. Jaebeom left Jinyoung in the kitchen.

Knock, knock.

Louder.

Jaebeom approached the door.

Knock, knock.

"I'm coming," he said as he opened the door. "Oh, my God." He stared for a moment at a beautiful woman in her early fifties, a woman he would have recognized anywhere.

"Hello, Jaebeom," she said. Jaebeom said nothing.

“May I come in?" she asked, her voice steady, revealing nothing. He stammered out a reply as she walked past him, stopping just before the stairs.

"Who is it?" Jinyoung shouted from the kitchen, and the woman turned at the sound of his voice. "It's your mother.” Jaebeom finally answered, and immediately after he said it he heard the sound of breaking glass.

"I knew you would be here," Mrs. Park said to her son as the three of them sat around the coffee table in the living room.

"How could you be so sure?"

"You're my son. I know everything about you." She smiled, but her manner was stiff, and Jaebeom imagined how difficult this must be for her.

"I saw the paper, too, and I saw your reaction. I also saw how tense you've been during the last couple of weeks, and when you said you were going shopping near the coast, I knew exactly what you meant."

"What about Dad?"

Mrs. Park shook her head, "No, I didn't tell your father or anyone else about it. Nor did I tell anyone where I was going today."

"Why did you come?" Jinyoung asked.

"I came because I had to," his mother said, "which I'm sure is the same reason you came. Am I right?" Jinyoung nodded.

Mrs. Park turned to Jaebeom. "I know you don't think so, but I always liked you. I just didn't think you were right for my son. Can you understand that?"

He shook his head as he answered. "No, not really. It wasn’t fair to me, and it wasn't fair to Jinyoung. Otherwise he wouldn't be here." Jinyoung watched him as he answered, but he said nothing.

Jinyoung, sensing an argument, cut in. "What do you mean when you say you had to come? Don't you trust me?"

Mrs. Park turned back to her son. "This has nothing to do with trust. This has to do with Wonpil. He called me last night to talk about Jaebeom and Wonpil is on his way here right now. He seemed very upset. I thought you'd want to know."

Jinyoung inhaled sharply. "He's on his way?"

"As we speak. He arranged to have the trial postponed until next week. If he's not in your hotel yet, he's close."

"What did you say to him?"

"Not much. But he knew. He had it all figured out. Apparently your father had told him about you and Jaebeom.”

Jinyoung swallowed hard, "Did you tell him I was here?"

"No. And I won't. That's between you and him. But knowing him, I'm sure he'll find you. After all, I was able to find you," Jinyoung, though obviously wearied, smiled at his mother.

"Thank you," he said, and his mother readied for his hand. "I know we've had our differences, Jinyoung, and that we haven't seen eye to eye on everything. But I'm-your mother and that means I’ll always love you."

Jinyoung was silent for a moment, then: "What should I do?"

"I don’t know, Jinyoung, That's up to you. But I would think about it. Think about what you really want.”

Jinyoung turned away, his eyes reddening. A moment later a tear drifted down his cheek. "I don't know…" He trailed off, and his mother squeezed his hand.

Jinyoung looked at Jaebeom, who had been sitting with his head down, listening carefully. As if on cue, he returned his gaze, nodded and left the room.

When Jaebeom was gone, Mrs. Park whispered, "Do you love him?"

"Yes, I do," Jinyoung answered softly, "very much."

"Do you love Wonpil?"

"Yes, I do. I love him, too. Dearly, but in a different way. He’s a good guy but he’s always too busy for me, he never make time for me and he doesn't make me feel the way Jaebeom does."

"No one will ever do that," Mrs. Park said, and she released Jinyoung's hand. "I can't make this decision for you, Jinyoung, this one's all yours. I want you to know, though, that I love you. And I always will. I know that doesn't help, but it's all I can do."

Mrs. Park reached in her handbag and removed a bundle of letters held together with string, the envelopes old and slightly yellowed. "These are the letters that Jaebeom wrote to you. I never threw them away, and they haven't been opened. I know I shouldn't have kept them from you, and I'm sorry for that. But I was just trying to protect you. I didn't realize...”

Jinyoung took them and ran his hand over them, shocked.

"I should go, Jinyoung. You've got some decisions to make, and you don't have much time. Do you want me to stay in town?” Jinyoung shook his head, "No, this is up to me."

Mrs. Park nodded and watched her son for a moment, wondering. Finally she stood, went around the table, leaned over and kissed Jinyoung on the cheek. She could see the confusion in his son’s eyes as Jinyoung embraced her. They stood together for another minute, just holding each other. "Thanks for coming, Jinyoung said, “I love you."

"I love you too."

As his mother made her way out of the living room, Jinyoung thought that he heard her whisper, "Follow your heart,” but he couldn’t be sure.

Jaebeom opened the door for Mrs. Park as she went out. “Goodbye Jaebeom," she said quietly. He nodded without speaking. There wasn't anything else to say; they both knew that. She turned from him and left, closing the door behind her.

Jaebeom peeped into the living room, saw Jinyoung sitting with his head down, then went to the back porch, knowing that Jinyoung needed to be alone. After what seemed like an eternity he heard the back door open. He didn’t turn to look at Jinyoung—for some reason he couldn’t-and he listened as Jinyoung sat in the chair beside him.

“I’m sorry," Jinyoung said. "I had no idea this would happen."

Jaebeom shook his head. "Don't be sorry. We both knew it was coming to some form or another."

"It’s still hard.”

"I know." Jaebeom finally turned to Jinyoung, reaching for his hand. "Is here anything I can do to make it easier?"

Jinyoung shook his head. "No. Not really. I have to do this alone. Besides, I'm not sure what I'm going to say to Wonpil yet."

Jaebeom felt tightness in his stomach. When he finally spoke his voice was steady, but Jinyoung could hear the pain in it.

"You're not going to tell him about us, are you?"

"I don't know. I really don't. While I was in the living room, I kept asking myself what I really wanted in my life." Jinyoung squeezed Jaebeom's hand. "And do you know what the answer was? The answer was that I want you. I want us. I love you and I always have." He took a deep breath before going on. "But I also want a happy ending without hurting anyone. And I know that if I stayed, people would be hurt. Especially Wonpil. I wasn't lying when I told you that I love him. He doesn't make me feel the same way you do, but I care for him, and this wouldn't be fair to him. But staying here would also hurt my family and friends. I would be betraying everyone I know.... I don't know if I can do that."

"You can't live your life for other people. You've got to do what's right for you, even if it hurts some people you love."

"I know," Jinyoung said, "but no matter what I choose I have to live with it. Forever. I have to be able to go forward and not look back anymore. Can you understand that?"

Jaebeom shook his head and tried to keep his voice steady. "Not really. Not if it means losing you. I can't do that again."

Jinyoung didn't say anything but lowered his head.

Jaebeom went on: "Could you really leave me without looking back?"

Jinyoung bit his lip as he answered. His voice was beginning to crack. "I don't know. Probably not."  
"Would that be fair to Wonpil?"

Jinyoung answering quietly: "No."

"It doesn't have to be like this, Jinyoung," he said. "We're adults now, we have the choice we didn't have before. We're meant to be together. We always have been."

Jaebeom walked to Jinyoung's side and put his hand on his shoulder. "I don't want to live the rest of my life thinking about you and dreaming of what might have been. Stay with me, Jinyoung."

Tears filled Jinyoung's eyes. "I don't know if I can," he whispered.

"You can. Jinyoung ... I can't live my life happily knowing you're with someone else. That would kill a part of me. What we have is rare. It's too beautiful to just throw it away."

After a moment he gently turned Jinyoung towards him, took his hands and stared at him, willing Jinyoung to look at him. Jinyoung finally faced him with moist eyes. After a long silence, Jaebeom brushed the tears from Jinyoung’s cheeks with his fingers. His voice caught as he saw what his eyes were telling him. "You're not going to stay, are you?" Jaebeom smiled weakly. "You want to, but you can't."

"Jaebeom," he said as the tears began again, "try to understand—"

Jaebeom shook his head to stop Jinyoung. "I know what you're trying to say—I can see it in your eyes. But I don't want to understand it, Jinyoung. I don't want it to end this way. I don't want it to end at all. But if you leave, we both know we'll never see each other again."

Jinyoung leaned into him and began to cry harder as Jaebeom fought back his own tears. He wrapped his arms around him.

"Jinyoung, I can't force you to stay with me. But no matter what happens in my life, I'll never forget these last couple of days with you. I've been dreaming about this for years." He kissed Jinyoung gently, and they embraced as they had when he first got out of his car two days ago. Finally Jinyoung let him go and wiped his tears.

Jaebeom opened his car door and they kissed one more time. Then Jinyoung slid behind the wheel, never taking his eyes from Jaebeom. He put the packet of letters next to him on the seat and fumbled for the keys, then turned the ignition. It started easily and the engine began to turn over impatiently. It was almost the time. Jaebeom pushed his door closed and Jinyoung rolled down the window. He reached out his hand and Jaebeom took it for just a moment, moving his fingers softly against his skin.

"Come back to me please," Jaebeom mouthed without sound, and this for some reason hurt more than Jinyoung would have expected. The tears began to fall hard now, but he couldn't speak. Reluctantly, he looked away and pulled his hand from Jaebeom. Slowly the car turned towards the road that would take Jinyoung back to town. Jaebeom felt dizzy at the sight. "Don't go!" he wanted to shout. But he didn't say anything, and a minute later the only remaining signs of him were the tracks that his car had left behind. He was gone. Forever this time. Forever. Jaebeom closed his eyes.

~~~

Driving with tears in his eyes was difficult, but Jinyoung went on anyway. He kept the window rolled down, thinking the fresh air might help clear his mind, but it didn't seem to. Nothing would help. He was tired, and he wondered if he would have the energy he needed to talk to Wonpil. And what was he going to say?

Jinyoung saw the hotel just up the street while he was stopped at a red light. He took a deep breath when the light turned green and drove slowly until he reached the parking lot. He parked and turned off the engine.

Jinyoung remembered the letters his mother had given him and reached for them. He untied the package and found the first letter Jaebeom had written him. He began to open it, then stopped because he could imagine what was in it. Something simple, no doubt—things he'd done, memories of the summer, perhaps some questions. Instead he reached for the last letter, the one on the bottom of the stack. The goodbye letter. Jinyoung held his breath as he unfolding it. He straightened the page and began to read.

_Jinyoung,_

_I don't know what to say any more except that I couldn't sleep last night because I knew that it is over between us. It is a different feeling for me, one that I never expected. Looking back, I suppose it couldn't have ended another way. You and I were different. We came from different worlds, and yet you were the one who taught me the value of love. You showed me what it was like to care for another, and I am a better man because of it. I don't want you ever to forget that._

_I am not bitter because of what has happened. On the contrary I am secure in knowing that what we had was real, and I am happy we were able to come together for even a short time. And if, in some distant place in the future, we see each other in our new lives, I will smile at you with joy, and remember how we spent a summer learning from each other and growing in love. And maybe, for a brief moment, you'll feel it too, and you'll smile back and savour the memories we will always share._

_I love you, Jinyoung._

_Jaebeom_

Jinyoung read the letter again, then put it back into the envelope. His legs felt weak as he stepped out of the car. He paused and took a deep breath, and as he started across the parking lot he realized that he still wasn't sure what he was going to say to Wonpil. And the answer didn't finally come until he reached the door and opened it and saw Wonpil standing in the Lobby.


End file.
